Positive Health Online

Rational Emotive Behavioural Thinking (REBT) was developed by Albert Ellis in the 1950s, and was a forerunner of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) developed by Aaron Beck in the 1960s.

In 1984 Albert Ellis said:

“If children were taught simple rational thinking in schools, it would help combat some of the more irrational thinking they might be subjected to elsewhere.  If all children were taught rational thinking they would then at least possess a means, a tool, a method, for thinking logically.”

Teenagers need tools to recognize when their thinking is being shaped by external forces; to question what they see, and to make informed, independent decisions in the face of a stream of outside sources that seek to influence them.  There are often subtle ways social media, porn, peer groups, news which can distort teenagers thinking, influence their behaviour, and may even impact their mental health. 

Teaching rational emotive behavioural thinking to teenagers enables them to examine their own unhelpful thinking and to recognize it in others. If teenagers were taught to think ideas through, rather than acting impulsively, it would at least give them an optional way to think and behave.   As Richard Bandler said:

“If you’ve only got one way you react in a situation you’re a robot – if you have two ways to behave you are starting to motor, you have choices.” 

Are You Caught in the Repetition Loop?

You move class, change best friends or boyfriends, move to different locations with totally new people, and yet the same things keep happening.  If this is the case it might be worth considering

“I wonder if it has anything to do with me?’   Could it be my thinking, my behaviour, my action – or my inaction that exacerbates the situation?”   

Rather than becoming anxious, it is better to think your problems through. 

First Capture your Unhelpful Thoughts.

• Write a list of your unhelpful thoughts, then park them somewhere safe;
• Be kind to yourself, remember you’re just a person trying to do the best you can;
• Remember that your emotions don’t control you, you can learn to manage them;
• Practise your ABC strategy so you can see problematic thinking.

 The ABC Model is a Powerful REBT Tool.

The amazing thing about the ABC model is that it shows you have power over your reactions.  Your beliefs create your emotions and actions – not the event itself, but the way you choose to think about it.  This means you will be able to:

• Catch any negative thought patterns you may have as they arise.
• Challenge irrational beliefs that may hold you back from achieving your outcomes.
• Choose healthier ways to respond in a situation that are more likely to get your needs met.

Scenario

A friend does not invite you to their party.  You feel ‘angry’. 

To elicit the EMOTION at (C) ask yourself " What am I saying to myself at (A) and (B) to make me feel angry at (C)?

Tips For When You Are Overwhelmed With Strong Emotions

1. Ask yourself: ‘is this thought helping me or hurting me?’
2. Ask: ‘What would be a healthier feeling for me to hold, one that is more balanced and likely to get me the outcome I want?’

Having fewer extreme views doesn’t mean you won’t feel bad, but feeling less emotionally charged helps free up the 80 percent of your mind that is taken up in feeling strongly emotional.  The next stage would be to create a healthy preference belief, one which is rational, flexible, consistent with reality, logical and helpful to you. 

What Would be a Healthier Response

A:  the Trigger, not being invited

B: the Belief, she doesn’t like me, a negative belief, versus ‘Not everyone gets invited to every party’.  I don’t like that she didn’t invite me, but I can stand it.

C: the Emotion.  An unhelpful strong feeling such as ‘Anger’ can keep your thinking stuck in a negative spiral.  Whereas a less strong negative emotion such as ‘annoyance’ or ‘frustration’ whilst still acknowledging you are unhappy with the situation, gives you more access to your rational thinking capacity, which can help you to stay confident and plan how to move ahead.

By applying the ABC model to any current situation, we can begin to see the problem and how we create it according to how we think about it.  Then we need to challenge our thinking and dispute our irrational beliefs so we can replace them with more rational helpful beliefs that will help us in achieving our aims. 

Finally, we seek to embed the new healthier emotions and behaviour that emerge after changing unhelpful beliefs.

D: Disputing, challenging and disputing irrational beliefs to replace them with more rational and helpful ones.

E:  Effect (or new Effect) The new healthier emotions and behaviours that emerge after changing unhelpful beliefs.

Core Aspects of REBT

• REBT Emphasises identifying and disputing irrational beliefs, especially “musts” and “shoulds”. It distinguishes between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions and seeks to eliminate unhealthy ones.
• REBT is strongly rooted in philosophical and existential concepts, promoting unconditional self-acceptance. It goes beyond just changing thoughts—it helps people accept themselves, take responsibility, and live authentically in the face of life’s inevitable difficulties.

Further Information

Frances Coombes is a REBT Psychotherapist and NLP Coach and runs 1 day introduction to REBT on Zoom on the 3^rd Saturday of alternative months.  If you would like to learn more about REBT and practice some skills contact: info@francescoombes.com for more information.

Easy reading booklet:  A Guide to Shameless Happiness, an REBT therapy booklet by Will Ross, available on Amazon.