Positive Health Online

You admire the courage I appear to display, bedbound after a stroke. But I’m 90, are you really surprised?

You’ve made a drive through city traffic, carving precious time out of the exhausting schedule of anyone managing a home, a job, a budget, and the intricacies of the latest updates on your apps.

You might not even remember the childhood joy of being just ill enough  to stay home from school and spend the day in bed, reading. But I do!

The Author in Her Bed

And I’m delighted to see you!  Grateful for your willingness to tell me the dramas that you share with others and the confidences that you do not. We continue to be special to each other.

My health?  The same, and I’m not in pain.  A blessing that I promise myself to be grateful for every day.  And not true for my carers; overworked, underpaid, and injured by the very nature of this job.

Talking about my own state is not worth using up much of our precious time together

Or of mine.. I failed at meditation, which invited me to notice my physical sensations, turn my attention inward.  Attention magnifies discomfort, brings awareness of my helpless hand and leg – why pay attention to that?  I’d rather look out at the sunlit plants on my window ledge, the clear blue sky beyond – let my awareness fly with the birds showing off in that expanse!

I am surrounded by evidence of love – my daughter’s water colours, a rose from a friend’s garden. My son’s patience and care with my terror of having my nails cut.

I look back on increasing frailty, worry about falling.  The endless nocturnal excursions to the loo, everything arranged in case I fell, or was felled.  The fifteen minutes I lay, wondering if I was having a stroke.

I was!  No more night journeys – all that has become Someone Else’s Problem. 

And here I am with my magic little iPhone, listening to audiobooks and YouTube concerts, comedians and commentators.  Dog rescues, problem horses being finally understood. 

And writing for you! 

Be kind to yourself, And as your life goes onward , prepare to be happier than you expected!