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The Ups and Downs of Grief, Joy and Happiness Part III: Learning to Love Being Happy

by Gina Pickersgill(more info)

listed in healing, originally published in issue 283 - January 2023

It was not long before I realized that getting in touch with my emotions was the bedrock of what I had been doing all my life. The instances I recall were mainly focused on how I was feeling bad, upset or emotionally unstable. But the truth of the matter was that I had never noticed what it would be like to feel happy.


Gina Pickersgill Croydon Observer

Photo and Story by Croydon Advertiser


In my early days of NLP training we were taught to “feel good for no good reason“. This was a foreign concept to me, for surely you had to have a good reason to feel good… Didn’t you? 

As I began to question the idea that feeling good was a ‘given’ I began to understand that it was my responsibility to choose my feelings be they good, bad or indifferent. It took practice to remember to feel good under the weight of all those previously well-practised bad feelings as habits, I believed were hard to break. But break them I did!

After becoming a student of A Course in Miracles [ACIM], I began to understand that happiness comes from letting go of feelings, emotions and ideas that don’t support the baseline of joyful moments that are our God given birth right.

ACIM states that the true definition of happiness is the ability to understand “there is nothing to forgive”. But getting to that place is a journey of learning to love yourself.

Having reached a place where self-love was part of my emotional repertoire, I endured the bad feelings from a place of self-compassion and nurturing. My inner child was finally getting the attention she craved.

Roll onto the idea that I had finally mastered the art of happiness by letting go of all that did not serve me. I was ready to make a difference in the lives of others and teach them to let go of what they didn’t need or want.

I became a life coach and Havening Techniques practitioner which allowed me to help others both build resources and be resilient in the face of emotional turmoil.

I teach my clients how to release and let go of what they don’t need using Havening Techniques as well as help them create a new future vision using NLP, coaching or guided meditation. I give them homework to apply between sessions and coach them in how to use these tools in times of emergency so that they feel in control of their own emotional destiny. This empowers them, not only to build a resilient mindset but also to envision a bright new future.

Letting go is one of the principal elements of learning to love being happy because it reveals the emotional treasures that lay deep within our soul. The more we dig, the more we discover about ourselves that contributes to our overall happiness quotient.

The message of this article then, is don’t be afraid to dig deep. Instead, look forward to the treasures you will find; that will stand you in good stead to enjoy the feeling of discovering your deepest happiness and joy.

Through going on your own personal journey of grief, joy and happiness you can finally learn to safely love being happy.


Photo Story Credit: The Croydon Advertiser


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About Gina Pickersgill

Gina is a transpersonal coach who brings multimedia to her practice.  She created an authoritative eMagazine on NLP and Healing, based on The Healing Pool, a virtual sanctuary she owns in Second Life as her avatar 'Nina Lancaster'.

An NLP Master Practitioner and Certified Society of NLP Trainer, Gina assisted co-creator of NLP Richard Bandler on their London NLP, seminars from 2001-5.  Originally training as a fitness instructor specializing in fitness for the fuller figure, she gained a degree in Sports and Exercise Studies in 1999 and introduced the concept of Lifestyle Coaching to Virgin Active Health Clubs. She is a published holistic article writer and regular contributor to NLPLife Training Newsletter. Gina is now focused on working towards a new paradigm of delivering NLP training to a virtual world audience via various forms of multimedia platforms in partnership with sponsors and organizations.

Gina is passionate about raising awareness of virtual worlds, their potential for training change and personal development, where they will have the best benefit to a global audience, as well as to those who need more traditional methods of learning such as books, CDs, audio and one to one coaching.

Gina may be contacted via Tel: 07932 958 262;  Havening Techniques

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