Add as bookmark

Five Steps to Happiness

by Violet-Ann Remba(more info)

listed in psychospiritual, originally published in issue 105 - November 2004

My grandmother had six daughters, now she has one. In her late 60s, she is looking after three grandchildren. Even though she gets much help financially, the pain of the past couple of years sometimes overwhelms her.

Amy is in her mid-thirties and is divorced with two children under ten. Her ex-husband is not always reliable with maintenance payments. Even when he does pay on time, she still has a hard time making ends meet. So she is trying to get a home business going to make extra money and still be there for her children.

Both women struggle to stay optimistic, both women pray more now than they did before and both women want to know how they can bring a little joy back into their lives. With all the tragedy, broken hearts and stress of life today, many women find themselves battling to be happy. Here are five ways to keep you light. Used together, they are guaranteed to work.

1 Divine Connection

Pray or meditate or, better still, do both. Cry if you need to as you tell Spirit what is going on inside your heart. Whatever your religion or spiritual background, you will always feel better when you pray. To make it work even more, also read a few paragraphs of your spiritual manual, be it the Bible, Koran or Conversations With God. Do this every day and you will be reminded that you are never alone, and often what you read will have a direct relation to what you are going through if you open up to Spirit. This is whether you read passages at random or in sequence. The famous medical intuitive, Carolyn Myss says about daily prayer: "Pray in reverence. Light a candle if it helps. Don't do it as a ritual, but to centre yourself. Have a daily contact with God. At least 15 minutes a day that you don't compromise for anything. The time doesn't matter. What matters is that you have the discipline to say I'll be there everyday for You, no matter what.

You could buy a book of prayers or write your own, reciting the same ones everyday. Meditation can take many forms. You can meditate on a word or a concept or the breath. You can sit in posture or not, whatever is best for you. Finally, nothing reminds you of the love of God more than looking at the beautiful world He created. Spend time in nature whether it's a garden or a park and you are sure to feel blessed.

2 Diet and Exercise

What we eat determines how well we function. This is not just about the body, but about the mind as well. The rule is simple: eat properly. You don't have to become a vegetarian, or health nut but you can cut back on unhealthy habits. Make meal times important in your home and put a lot of time into them. Stock up on spices, grow herbs, buy high quality foods, which needn't be expensive. Avoid eating the same type of food day after day and vary your recipes. Invest in a few cook books and if you can, buy a health book that teaches you how to eat for your body type e.g. according to your blood group, or for the shape of your body. Many books are available in book stores; just browse the health section. One such book is adequate. There is no need to go overboard.

If one has a weak immune or digestive system, I recommend finding a good nutritionist to advise on supplements instead of buying over the counter without proper advice. Hand in hand with diet is exercise which again must be sensible. I know many people who hate the gym. So for them an alternative is to join a yoga class twice a week or take three thirty-minute power walks taking the smallest strides they can manage. Use stairs as often as possible, ride a bike to the shops instead of taking the car and become more active around your home. Housework and gardening performed often enough are guaranteed to get you fit. Throw in a massage or reflexology treatment once in a while for good measure. Our bodies need pampering too and you will feel the results in your soul.

3 Creativity and Humour

Get creative. Write poetry for your daughter on her next birthday. Make personal presents for your friends. Get creative in your home starting with your garden, trying out new plants and flowers, or with the room you spend most of your time in. Meal times are another time; experiment with new flavours, new recipes. Experiment with your wardrobe trying out new colours and styles. Dance in your living room and sing with your children. There are many ways to get creative and add to the quality of your life: find one that suits you. This is sometimes referred to as 'letting out the inner child'.

You cannot be creative if you don't learn to laugh a little. Laugh a lot and laugh out loud. Collect your favourite comedies and watch them when you are down. You can go all out with a bottle of wine and snacks. Keep a couple of books that are funny such as Bridget Jones Diary. Just reading a chapter of that book always has me in stiches. Cultivate humour in your life. Laugh at yourself, your idiosyncracies, your prejudices, your life. Don't be too serious about everything.

4 How You Talk

Ever notice how being in the company of someone who is constantly down and complaining can get us down too? Well, it's because words have tremendous power.

When we complain it gets us down even more. We can literally talk ourselves into a depression. It's not easy to break the habit of complaining but it is important to do so. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative stop, no matter how far you have gone and say something positive instead.

The Angels hear what we say, not just when we sit in prayer, and they use these as bricks to help us build our lives. Make everything that comes out of your mouth good and kind and uplifting both to others and yourself. Soon enough you will start to feel better and gradually as good as you say you do. Write down affirmations or positive statements that you would like to come true in your life. Read these out at least once a day, preferably when you are relaxed and not rushed. These can be in the vein, 'I am happy with my life' and 'God loves me just as I am'.

5 Who You Are With

One cannot overstress the importance of the company you keep. We must be judged by the friends we have, not on a superficial social level, but by the standards of character. If a thief and a policeman befriend each other and spend enough time together, one of them will change. The policeman will become corrupt or the thief will change his ways and will try to become honest. Don't avoid negative relationships; break them until you are strong enough not to be pulled down. This includes abusive relationships, co-dependent relationships as well as relationships with people who put you down, break your spirit, steal, lie, cheat and those you cannot trust. Seek positive people with real ideas, humour, optimism and a spiritual life, even if it is just daily prayer. The better you make other people feel, the better you will feel. Help someone at the level you can afford. Volunteer an hour or two to a home, give away any old things you no longer need, sponsor an orphan, help a relative. Pay compliments often but sincerely and show people gratitude whenever appropriate. You will feel good and they will feel good. One more thing, SMILE. It will heal whatever ails you.


  1. No Article Comments available

Post Your Comments:

About Violet-Ann Remba

Violet-Ann Remba lives in Harare, Zimbabwe and can be reached on Mob: 263 23 833 034;

  • health & fitness books

    Massage, sports injury, holistic, healthcare and specialists books written by leaders in their field


    The FLEXXICORE exercise revolution: transform your fitness regime with 2 exhilarating exercisers

  • radical spirituality

    UK publisher of rejected knowledge in areas of esoteric thought and radical streams of spirituality.

top of the page