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Getting Ready to be Ready for Love

by Sophie Thomas(more info)

listed in health and life coaching, originally published in issue 262 - May 2020

 

It’s common for women to think that they’re ready for love and partnership because they want it so much but until they’ve made some internal shifts, they can find themselves going around in painful circles. They attract ‘Mr Wrong’ or enter into toxic relationships. Their self-worth diminishes and they can end up feeling like something is wrong with them, that they’re unlovable or not enough.

So what is the way? Ultimately our external life mirrors our internal world, which means that we must come home to ourselves before we can find belonging with our life partner.

 

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If you feel that no matter what you do you’re headed for more heartbreak or loneliness, these five shifts will change your trajectory and clear the path for you. Once you make these shifts, you’ll cherish and honour yourself more than ever and be able to attract men who consistently treat you with complete respect, warmth and adoration.

Shift 1: Raise Your Standards

Everyone has bumps in the road and it’s easy to think that perhaps healthy, happy love isn’t for us after all - in other words we give up or settle. We become afraid to ask for what we really want.

When women don’t raise their standards they keep their energy on a low setting which repeatedly attracts ‘Mr Wrong’, they set the standard of how they expect to be treated...they are not realizing - on every level - that they are treasure...to be treasured!

The cost of not FULLY loving and treasuring yourself is your quality of life - the way you feel about yourself, how you show up to life, and how life shows up for you. It’s a rare woman who does fully love, value, honour and treasure herself - but it’s that rare woman who gets the high-calibre man and the absolute eternal joy of a deeply fulfilling relationship. Thankfully we can learn how to fully love and treasure ourselves.

And let’s be honest now; a woman’s deepest desire is to love and be loved by a good man - to be cherished.

Your desire is real and is there for you to honour. But you need to desire more, not less. And to clarify - I don’t mean become snooty about men or callous with them - I mean value yourself enough to know which men aren’t worth you investing your time and energy in to, and which men are - and when to.

So I invite you to turn this situation into your power not your prison. To see that it’s an amazing opportunity for you to flourish into the woman you need to be to attract a secure, loving relationship. The woman who truly knows, on every level, that she is indeed treasure to be treasured.

So get clear on what you really desire and deserve, and use it as your North Star so you align with that and only that, does that make sense?

Shift 2: Liberate Your Authenticity

Life experiences make us repress certain aspects of ourselves. Many women grew up without being shown how to deal with difficult emotions, or feeling shame for who they are. They were told they were too much or not enough. They are not certain of what their authentic yes or their authentic no is or how to communicate that. They turn hard or more likely ‘too nice’ - always trying to please.

So women don’t show up as their most authentic selves: they think that they’re not enough for men - that if they can just do enough or bend themselves enough, they can win love or prove themselves worthy of it. Or they think they’re too much and hide the bits they don’t like about themselves in the hope that they will be loved.

And there are no end of tactics out there to keep us trying.

But tactics, and bending ourselves to fit someone else, will never work because it’s setting ourselves up for a relationship of walking on eggshells and analyzing how we can keep it going…. when what we really want is to enjoy an authentic, relaxed and heart-led relationship that we feel totally comfortable to BE OURSELVES in. Does that make sense?

In addition, putting in too much effort also doesn’t work because it’s based on the premise that you’re trying to get an outcome from a man. Not only is that very unattractive to men but it’s simply not what a woman who truly values herself does.

Yet what’s deep inside of you - the real you - and that which you probably often hide at least to some degree - is the exact piece that will create the true love, connection and intimacy you desire. The whole you is interesting. The whole you is lovable... once YOU’RE able to own the whole of you. Healthy men find authenticity interesting. Toxic men do not.

It’s no wonder that so many amazing women don’t get the love they desire - because tactical strategies and bending ourselves to fit or please are performances that miss every point of receiving true love as the valuable feminine beings that we really are.

At very best, tactics may mimic what it takes to get a man but without cultivating and showing up with the real, beautiful, feminine essence inside you, those tactics are hollow and get hollow results.

Instead use your authenticity - the feminine richness that’s buried deep at your core calling to be revealed - it’s what allows you to come alive and be magnetic for real…when you apply all of the five shifts that we’re going to go through today.

So to get an authentic, healthy love means opening up to another approach…and that’s moving away from it being about trying to control him or where the relationship is going, and towards it being about enriching and revealing the true you, which is brilliant because that’s something you do have power over and that leads us nicely on to shift 3…

Shift 3: Use the Secret Technique: Blindspot Alchemy

Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers
 within yourself that you’ve built against it
” Rumi.

When you use Blindspot Alchemy, you’ll remove your blocks and rejuvenate your beliefs about yourself and love, and therefore be operating from a place that’s aligned with who you really are - and no longer from your blindspot or limiting belief. And when you’re aligned you can attract someone else who is also aligned.

I believe that until women have worked alchemy on their blindspots, they are putting themselves into the firing line when dating - they’ll attract Mr Wrong over and over again . So this shift can’t be bypassed. Yes, it might sound scary to look at ourselves but it can actually be easy, fun and extremely nourishing when you have the right guidance. And what’s the alternative? Staying stuck is far worse! Blindspot alchemy is therefore removing that invisible glass screen that’s had you suffering for so long, so you can be free to excel in love and life.

Blindspot Alchemy starts with revealing your unique blindspots, and then we alchemize those blindspots using emotional intelligence, somatics (the body), self-compassion and cognitive uplevelling.

So this shift is all about becoming the most golden version of you – ready for the most golden version of life and of love. No more anxiety, no more attaching to Mr Wrong, no more old pain keeping you locked in patterns. It’s like seeing yourself and love fresh again – and this time with a solid understanding of the riches you deserve so you don’t settle for anything less, and are in a place where that healthy, happy love can come easily to you.

Shift 4: Elevate Your Presence

You know, when some ladies first come to me, they think that they are too old, not attractive enough or a myriad of other limitations and put downs women tend to put on themselves. So I want to make something very clear: when women fully make all of these shifts, those limitations fall away naturally - they just don’t feel that way about themselves anymore - and nor do men. And this new self-confidence comes across both online and ‘in real life’.

Likewise, when you make the five shifts in their entirety you’ll stand out from other women on dating sites and out and about. And men that are true kings will stand out to you!

You’ll no longer need to panic if a guy temporarily pulls away, get your heart trampled on or your head messed with, be at the mercy of men, lose yourself in relationships or become needy.

Instead you'll effortlessly, confidently and safely date and relate. You’ll bask in having healthy needs and being able to get those needs met, whilst being a dream partner for a secure man. So if you feel that dating has been a waste of time and/or painful for you, I get that! But please know that you can have a very different experience once you make the shifts.

Shift 5: Invest in a Mentor

There are hundreds of reasons to have a mentor - but the number one reason, in my mind, is this: a high value woman (that is a woman who has good values, brings value, and who values herself and others highly) invests in herself. That is how she gets herself where she wants to be! And who does a high-calibre man want? He wants a high value woman! He wants someone who nourishes and invests in herself - it tells him that she is high worth.

In addition, mentoring with the right person allows you to bypass years of mistakes and pain. Plus it gives you the keys to that seemingly impossible place of high self-worth and self-love - and that can be unlocked within a few weeks. Yes, I know what you’re probably thinking...that sounds impossible. But I promise, from experience, that it is absolutely possible!
So now you have a choice. You can continue to waste your time staying stuck in the nightmare of struggling with dating and unfulfilling relationships, continue to feel lonely, unseen, unheard and unappreciated for the incredible woman you really are, keep yourself trapped in a downward cycle that is diminishing your self-worth and true value and keep going to events on your own, or, if you’re done with all that heartbreak and you want to liberate the best version of you, your life, and your love life, to be able to walk in to a date with your value and confidence shining from you, and your power so strong that you’ll never ever let a man knock you off course again, to start getting the love and cherishment you deserve and to enjoy a lifetime of harmonious and pleasurable experiences with a solid partner, to have someone lovely to plan exciting adventures with, someone who’ll surprise you with dinner and thoughtful gifts, someone to build a life with... then here’s what I have for you…

Jump on a FREE Clarity Call with me. We’ll look at what’s been holding you back, where you want to be and how you can get there. But here’s the catch. This is not for everybody. This is only for women who can take ownership of their lives and want to be the victor of their life experience - women who are open and eager for transformation. If that’s you and you’re ready to claim true love then book your call here: www.sophiethomas.love/apply

 

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About Sophie Thomas

Sophie Thomas is the Love Mentor successful women seek when they want the most efficient, authentic and joyful approach to finding true love. Having made it her life’s work to discover the unknown keys that unlock true love she now shares them with women across the world. Women who want to step up to the next level of joy, life and love. Her unique, comprehensive, research-based formula for love realigns the mind, emotions, body and intuition ready for conscious partnership. Sophie's purpose is based on the premise that a woman’s journey back home to herself and to healthy love is the most important, profound and liberating journey she can take. www.sophiethomas.love Book your complimentary clarity call with Sophie here: www.sophiethomas.love/apply  In this free 45 minutes call she will let you know EXACTLY what is blocking you from healthy, happy love and how you can release it.

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