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The Healing Potential in a Word - Part II

by Dr Daniel Benor(more info)

listed in healing, originally published in issue 119 - January 2006

Aggressive Language in Treatment

Conventional medicine attacks, fights and wants to conquer diseases, and invests enormous resources in counteracting natural processes such as ageing and death. About 30% of medical costs are wasted on the last month of life, to little avail other than to stimulate the medical economy and to pretend that modern medicine can deal with death.

By battling something we label as an enemy we are actually giving it lots of energy and perpetuating its negative existence. While this may work with a physical problem, it does not work with psychological, relational or spiritual problems. Fighting to make your way out of a vicious circle, you are focused constantly on the negatives in your situation. This highlights the negatives in your awareness, puts you in an aggressive, negative frame of mind that is not health-promoting, and in the end is unlikely to be effective. In fact, it is likely to perpetuate and worsen your problems.[1] [2]

EmotionalBodyProcess, Part II[3] [4], discusses ways in which negative beliefs, traumas and emotions can be dealt with through acceptance, love, healing and forgiveness.

Being angry is actually a choice. No one can make us angry if we're not in a mood or of a mind to respond with anger. However, we are conditioned to put the responsibility for our feelings onto other people through the common usage of such terms as "He made me furious!" "This makes me sick!" or even "Seeing her smile makes my day!"

I am impressed that when parents are in a positive psychological space, children's natural misbehaviours are handled much more successfully than when parents are in a bad mood. One day two year-old Susie spilled a box of crayons on the floor in my office. Jennifer, her mother, responding from a place of anger, loudly reprimanded her. Susie walked off to the play chest and refused to help her mother pick up the crayons. Jennifer continued to rant at Susie, eliciting more rebellious and negative behaviours, stirring herself and Susie to escalating anger.

In anger we blame others for 'making us angry'. Jennifer had nothing but criticisms for Susie. Her babysitter rarely encountered angry outbursts while she was babysitting. I suggested to Jennifer that she might explore this question with her babysitter. In a later visit, Jennifer sheepishly acknowledged she had begun to see how her own frustrations and anger were probably stirring Susie to be an even more rebellious terrible two. With further discussions, she was able to see that her frustrations and anger (over marital and financial problems) was feeding on itself, and that she was venting her anger on Susie. She was pleased to report that in the past two days Susie had been behaving much better, responding very quickly to her mother's more positive attitude towards her.

Divide and Master

Our Western scientific method dichotomizes. We have the world of matter, and separate realms of mind and spirit.

Even our bodies are subdivided into various parcels. Health care has subdivided our bodies into territories that are convenient for caregivers to treat. Focusing on a problem that is in the heart or kidneys also allows caregivers to specialize in treating these organs, honing their skills and deepening their clinical knowledge. The enormously rapid pace of development of medical research makes it impossible for any one person to master all medical practice. So, in the name of efficiency, we have a medical system that trains doctors to care for parts of people, but often neglects the person who brings the problem for treatment.

People then feel neglected – however well their various limbs and organs are being addressed. One of my favourite cartoons from the New Yorker pictures a patient at the receptionist's desk, asking "Does the doctor hug?"

Many doctors have little training in understanding or dealing with psychological problems. Western medicine has been successful in curing acute problems, particularly infections and trauma. It is less successful with chronic illnesses, where symptom management is the focus, and where psychological components are present – certainly in response to the stresses of being ill, and often in contributing to the development of the illness in the first place.

References

1. Benor DJ. Healing Research. Volume II. (Professional edition). Consciousness, Bioenergy and Healing. Medford. NJ. Wholistic Healing Publications. (Book of the Year award – The Scientific and Medical Network www.datadiwan.de/SciMedNet/11.htm). 2004.
2. Benor DJ. Healing Research. Volume II. (Popular edition). How Can I Heal What Hurts? Wholistic Healing and Bioenergies. Medford. NJ. Wholistic Healing Publications. 2005.
3. Benor DJ, von Stumpfeldt, Dorothea and Benor R. EmotionalBodyProcess. Part I. Healing through Love. International Journal of Healing and Caring – Online. www.ijhc.org. 1(1), 1-11. 2001. www.ijhc.org/Journal/0601articles/love-I-1.asp
4. Benor DJ von Stumpfeldt, Dorothea ad Benor R. EmotionalBodyProcess. Part II. Healing through Love. International Journal of Healing and Caring – Online. www.ijhc.org. 2(1), 1-18. 2002.

*An expanded version of this article appears in Benor DJ. In a Word. International Journal of Healing and Caring – Online. www.ijhc.org. 1-8. January 2001.

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About Dr Daniel Benor

Daniel J. Benor, M.D. is a psychiatrist in New Jersey who blends wholistic, bodymind approaches, spiritual awareness and healing in his practice. He is the author of Healing Research, Volumes I-IV and many articles on wholistic, spiritual healing. He appears internationally on radio and TV. He is on the Advisory Council of the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychotherapy (ACEP). He is editor and producer of the International Journal of Healing and Caring ­ On Line www.ijhc.org See more by and about Dr. Benor at: www.WholisticHealingResearch.com

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