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The Dark Night(s) of the Soul…

by Dave Markowitz(more info)

listed in psychospiritual, originally published in issue 290 - November 2023


It’s well accepted that many of us at some point will go through what has been dubbed, a "dark night of the soul." This phrase has been used to describe the final burning of the ego on our way toward enlightenment.
With all due respect; however, I’m calling BS.
Wait for it.

I’ve yet to meet any human who has had just one night of extreme turmoil on their spiritual and emotional growth paths and the next day they’re walking on water, or radiating love from all chakras all of the time, or has hit the plateau so many of us seek.

Deep healing is not just a one night’s event, folks! It’s many. It could be a week or a few weeks. It could be months, or even… years. Decades. Lifetimes.

I know you may not have enjoyed reading that. I didn’t enjoy typing it! But in this short attention, instant gratification world, we need to remind ourselves that much of the healing we’re seeking isn’t an overnight thing.

For a few of my current clients, their inner turmoil has lasted quite a while. I assure you it’s no fun for them. A few have been unable to work. Some have lost relationships, and of course they're often frustrated.

But each of them now knows what’s going on, as their spiritual and intuitive acuity has been heightened during the ordeal. Many of them are MDs, therapists, and caretakers by trade and are quite aware of the difference between an awakening and an emergency requiring hospitalization. Some require doctor-recommended medication, and I remind them that using such is totally okay and may not hinder their process. Despite many people’s opinions, I am not against Western medicine. I’m all for whatever works!

There are Always Possibilities.

As challenging as their situation has become, I know there is hope. I’ve seen many go through the process and come out healthier, and more aware, with heightened levels of intuition and compassion for self and others and feeling freer and happier than ever.

But that doesn’t mean they’ll never have an ache or pain or challenging situation again. It only means they’re more able to manage those inevitable life challenges. And not in a bypassing kind of way, but in a real, “Let’s face this head-on. What is this trying to show me?" manner.

Many of us are being challenged in numerous ways these last several years. For some it’s been decades. For some, it seems the pain will never end. And I get that! But we’re at a level of awareness that knows we can’t just push this stuff under the rug any longer. We can’t bury old emotions any longer. We can’t go on holding onto our anger at this person or that person or even the whole world any longer. Not everyone is out to get you, most are preoccupied with their own internal stuff to focus on you or your "tribe" whatever that may be. We know that keeping emotions in is toxic and can be a major factor in pain, illness, and even relationship and financial challenges. We know that spewing your stuff – AKA perpetuating the pain – only hurts others, even if your intention is positive. We know that not living in alignment with our authentic selves is emotionally and energetically constricting. We know that some of the things we’ve learned just aren’t true.

We also know that in addition to our own blockages coming up for healing, that empaths (and everyone is at least somewhat empathic!) and intuitives can sense and sometimes hold the energy and even emotional or physical pain of others as well! This isn’t a healthy selflessness; it’s a decades-long, conditioned and incorrect belief that we are responsible for the thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences of others.

Your Mind Won’t Like This

Your mind won’t like this reminder (and I’ll remind you again sooner than you might expect!): anything worth having, healing, or experiencing takes patience, consistency, a healthy amount of egoic surrender and following your inner guidance to the right steps, modalities, practitioners, and space-holders for you as an individual. The right tools and people are required for the right jobs. Although healing is ultimately each person’s own responsibility, in my experience and as much as we think it false, we just can’t do it alone. My favorite quote, Source unknown:

“If the Universe wanted us to go at life on our own, we’d have been given 7 billion planets, one person each.”

And now for that re-reminder: Anything worth having, healing, or experiencing takes patience, consistency, a healthy amount of egoic surrender and following your inner guidance to the right steps, modalities, practitioners, and space-holders for you as an individual.

Blessings, and best to you on your path,




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About Dave Markowitz

Dave Markowitz is a two-time best-selling author, intuitive healing facilitator and guide for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons. His work has been endorsed by Shirley MacLaine, Lynn Andrews, Lee Harris, Dannion and Kathryn Brinkley, Karen McPhee, Dr. Meg Blackburn Losey and more. He’s shared the lecture bill with Deepak Chopra and Gary Null and has worked with thousands of empaths and highly sensitive persons (HSPs) since his “empathic awakening” in 2012. To find out more about Dave, check out

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