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Healing for the Highly Sensitive Person – Abandonment

by Dave Markowitz(more info)

listed in healing, originally published in issue 246 - May 2018

Underneath it all - under the fears of losing your family members or intimate partner, the fear of losing your home, your health, or financial assets - is the dreadful grief each of us experienced in that first moment we felt separate from Source.

Prior to incarnating into our present corporeal form, each of us was pure energy in a vast soup of even more energy, which I call Source. We each felt supported and loved unconditionally. Then, one day, we decided to join the physical world. We chose our human family to be born into as the perfect scenario for us to experience what we needed to experience based on our karma, which doesn’t care if what we’re incarnating into is good or bad by human standards. All experiences are part of a jigsaw puzzle that includes all aspects of humanity. For us to ascend, we need to experience all of them. All. Of. Them. 


Markowitz 246 Abandonment


But few pains we experience later in life come near the level of pain we feel as a result of what I call our original sin (“sin” meaning misperception rather than breaking a rule). This original sin is the misperception that we are separate from Source, the only experience of unconditional love we’ve ever known. Not that we are separate; it just feels that way based on our physical senses, which begin to dominate experience as we grow from infant to young child. 

The moment when we realize the separation varies for each of us, but I sense that for most it happens when the umbilical cord is cut at birth, separating us from our mother, followed by the formation of what feels like a painful void in the solar plexus as a result of that separation. This void is the lack of unconditional love made manifest.

The heart-wrenching agony of perceived separation forms our first feelings of abandonment, which few of us want to acknowledge, much less face and heal. And what we don’t acknowledge will repeat until we face it and heal it.

Imagine, for example, that your intimate partner has left you or your loved one has passed over. While that in itself is painful enough, it has also triggered the unhealed pain from the original sin. The fear of feeling that pain leads us to form unhealthy attachments to feelings, experiences, people (codependency), and possessions—all of them unconscious attempts to avoid grieving our original separation from Source.

We close ourselves off from feeling that pain by creating what I perceive as numerous super-thin layers of protection around the heart, like a multi-layered metaphysical pericardium. But with each attempt to not feel the pain, we also create walls that increase the sense of separation and minimize our ability to give, receive, or feel love. So part of our job here is to recognize and acknowledge the fear of abandonment that subconsciously runs most of our lives, then heal it!

We are here to heal each layer of protection in order to better access the heart’s wisdom and abilities. But those layers don’t break easily. And when they crack a little bit, even though more heart energy is available, the fear of losing our protection and feeling the original sin once again is too great for most of us to manage, much less consciously step into.

When we feel our heart is breaking, what is really happening is that each protective layer is cracking, and by allowing those layers to break, we can finally regain the connection to Source that we are all seeking but too easily forget or distract ourselves from. And distraction is our specialty. We spend most of our lives trying to fill the void left by the original separation with things that don’t actually fill the void but rather, temporarily mask its existence. Higher-quality spiritual growth and healing work has to stay aware of this distinction. To truly heal this void, we need to stay aware of this distraction game and heal it at the root level. The tools and concepts in my book, Empathipedia: Healing for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons will help you on this journey.


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About Dave Markowitz

Dave Markowitz is a two-time best-selling author, intuitive healing facilitator and guide for Empaths and Highly Sensitive Persons. His work has been endorsed by Shirley MacLaine, Lynn Andrews, Lee Harris, Dannion and Kathryn Brinkley, Karen McPhee, Dr. Meg Blackburn Losey and more. He’s shared the lecture bill with Deepak Chopra and Gary Null and has worked with thousands of empaths and highly sensitive persons (HSPs) since his “empathic awakening” in 2012. To find out more about Dave, check out

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